February 10, 2006


Akilesh's meditation VIII on Thomas Traherne's quote,
"Your enjoyment of the world..." printed in Huxley's Perennial Philosophy

...and more rejoice in the palace of your glory than if it had been made today morning.

Realization is freedom. It is wonderful, so very full of wonder and celebration. Your being is a glorious palace, a celestial palace of rejoicing. And this rejoicing is always fresh and new. It is the naked purposeless rejoicing of a child. Jesus said something like "except that you become like little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven." Fresh, like little kids, unburdened with heavy dominion of rationality, of conditioning and ego fixation. Return, reenter the palace of your glory through the gate of childhood innocence. It is risky, you move toward being a nobody, like a child is a nobody, not having had the time to develop a character jacket; not having pulled the thick veil of ego fixation over the purity of her vision, her innocence; not yet climbing into the protective fortress of a cocoon, not yet harboring a firm identity, or strengthening, solidifying that identity. Socialization, identification, individuation, ego strengthening, are all necessary processes for healthy social and psychological development. But they are limited. They are relatively complete in a healthy human around the age of 14 to 16. There is another journey to be undertaken, an odyssey rediscovering the "palace of your glory," your original nature beyond or beneath the psychological self. It is this original nature that is rediscovered, "made today morning," lived newly, freshly moment to moment.

Living our realization as if it were made freshly each morning, each moment is living a life of responsibility. Living this way is responding freshly to whatever presents itself. Not living out of morals, principles, rules, codes, scriptures, values or ethics. These are the crutches of a stale and dead life, concepts we hide behind to prop us up and give us a sense of security. Life is a process and is best lived as a process, not knowing moment to moment and responding out of your being, trusting the spontaneous intelligence of your being. This is big trust, basic trust, trust that is alive. Not trust based on rules of conduct, social convention or moral character. The latter is secondhand living, the life of a sheep, the giving over of one's freedom and individuality to another, whether parent, pastor, politician, teacher, guru or God. It is the way of the coward, the way of lost souls.

It takes guts to look deeply within and trust the light you find there. It may be a feeble lamp but it is more trustworthy than any scripture or priest, civic leader or university professor. "Be a lamp unto yourself," sounds pretty nifty but is put into practice by very, very few. Most people opt for being a sheep and leaving things to the shepherd. It's a matter of life and death, eternal life of consciousness and bliss or death. All the more reason not to hand your individuality and responsibility over to someone else. It is difficult finding your own way, and you'll find many teachers and guru's willing to guide you, exploit you, exploit your neediness, and shore up their own sense of self. But carving your own way, creating your path in the walking of it, is what living an authentic life is all about. There is a lot of moving in the dark, groping in the dark. But no one can walk it for you, and it unfolds only in the walking, only in the process. There's no hovering or shortcuts. If your life is moving toward greater rejoicing, increasing celebration, bliss, inexplicable joy, feelings of contentment and gratitude, then you are moving in the right direction, this is your path. If your life is moving toward increasing angst, anxiety, fear, depression and despair, misery, pettiness and boredom, then you are moving in the wrong direction, this is not your path. You are either moving toward a stale, stagnant, safe, secure, comfortable and dead life, are you are moving on the razors edge moment to moment, living in the gap every moment. Alive, at large, alert, aware. Awake.

Fresh baked bread, "made today morning," tastes heavenly. Don't settle for day-old bread, or worse, stale bread. Plant your own seeds, nurture the crop, harvest the grain, mill it, mix the dough, let it rise, bake it and eat it warm. Enlightenment is organic, a growing, living thing, not something processed. You find the seeds within, grind them, make a loaf, let it rise, bake it, and eat it. It is never given to you. It doesn't come from outside. You make your own by clearing a space for it to emerge. It's your birthright, your inherent nature, it is who you are, only you're so stuffed with thinking, emoting, sensating and identifying with those things as a self that you can't grok it. Sitting under a tree on a spring day, a mourning dove is cooing, but you can't hear the benediction of that song because your head is stuffed with constant thinking - a datastream of immense bandwidth flowing across the screen of your mind. It obliterates the sweet breeze, and the sunlight filtering through the green leaves, the warmth and basic goodness of the day, of your life. On the other hand ordinary things seen in the light of pure consciousness brings you into "the palace of your glory," and fills your life with an infinite source of rejoicing.

Post by Akilesh

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